Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Are you too scared to have kids in a climate emergency? Me too

Thankyou to my friend Catherine Van Loo for letting me use her photo from the School Climate Strike in London in September

As always, I was fascinated by what happened in Davos this year. If not necessarily encouraged. Donald Trump criticised climate ’prophets of doom’, pronouncing the amazingness of the USA and promoting their fracked gas as a safe solution to energy security. On the same stage, Greta Thunberg gave all the adults in the room a good talking to about the rapid action needed to tackle climate and ecological breakdown to provide her generation with a future that they can thrive in. HRH The Prince of Wales told us that we have just ten years to get our act together. And an interesting BBC documentary on population, consumption and the outlook if we keep growing both. Which was a first and, in my opinion, welcome discussion of the issues.

It seems to me that population and consumption growth are at the heart of our current crises. And talking about them is still a taboo. In right wing circles it’s an excuse to lay the blame for the world’s problems at the feet of poor countries with high birth rates, whilst frowning on contraception. On the left, it’s impossible to discuss without being accused of wanting to deny fundamental human rights to reproduce and live well. And there are endless discussions about becoming more efficient and changing consumption patterns to accommodate more people. When we know, deep down, that this only slows down progress to the same destination. See Sheri S Temper’s excellent book ‘Beauty’ for a frightening vision of what this future could look like. Surely it is time to think a bit more rationally about this? After all, physics would suggest that we can’t continue to expand without breaking the system at some point. Which means we need to rethink our assumption that we can have what we want, when we want it, with no thoughts to the consequences. And being intentional about bringing more people into the world strikes me as a good place to start.

From a personal perspective, I am purposefully childfree. Both in the sense that I chose not to have children and that I am using my childfree life to do my best to help create a world where all children — human and other species — can live well, now and in the future. It was a hard decision to make and an even harder one to stick to. I had always wanted to be a mother. I didn’t think life could be complete without a family of my own. But as I became settled and started to feel ready to become a mum, my husband and I realised that we couldn’t bring new people into the world. Not at a time when we seem to be hell bent on undermining the life support systems we depend on. When the last thing it seemed the world needed was another spoilt English kid. Let alone thinking about what their future might look like with nature stripped bare and getting on for 10 billion people by the time they are thirty. So, we don’t have children. Now, as I move into my late 40’s, I can start to appreciate what I have developed and become as a result of being childfree. But I have gone through a full process of grieving for the children we never had, coupled with such strong biological urges to have a baby that it was incredibly painful at times. I still feel wistful on occasion when I see families having fun. Less so when I witness toddler tantrums and teenage rebellions!

It is not for me to judge or to tell others how to live. Children are a joy and reproducing important for the future of humanity. But I know that women (and the men in their lives) are increasingly worried about having children in a climate emergency. (Thanks to my friend, Catherine Van Loo for letting me use her photo from the September Climate Strikes here!) My question therefore is how can we make it less of a taboo to be childfree and enable people to feel good about putting their energies into birthing and raising a new way of being in the world, rather than their own families? I know I have experienced too many upsetting conversations where people with children have questioned my decision, told me I’m wrong and will regret it, am selfish and not a proper woman. Even relative strangers. So how can we all support each other so that we can create a better world together?

I believe that the Dalai Lama was right when he said that western women have the potential to save the world. And I feel that childfree western women have a special contribution to make.

Whilst our sisters invest their energy into nurturing the next generation, we can focus on changing memes and nurturing a culture that will start to restore the health of communities of people and nature so that the next generation can look forward to their future. Step into our uniquely feminine powers and develop new ways to lead, at home, at work and in our communities, so that we can bring balance and a different perspective to important decisions that need to be made in all spheres of life. To own our roles as equals in the world and make our voices heard. The role of women has always been to nurture the future. We need that now more than ever and for some of us it involves not having children and finding our own unique path to fulfillment and contribution. But most importantly, we must support each other, with kindness, understanding and appreciation — whether we are mothers or not. We can be the change we want to see in the world, with a little courage, faith and solidarity. Let’s do it!

If any of what I have said chimes with you, please do get in touch. I have created the ‘Purposefully Childfree’ network with groups on Facebook and LinkedIn and am starting the 21st Century Grown Ups project, figuring out how to design a good urban life that maximises my contribution to tackling our shared social and environmental challenges. I have created a free guide to boosting your wellbeing in a climate emergency that you can find at my website — I look forward to connecting.

With much love and hope for what we can create together

Gudrun x

Are you too scared to have kids in a climate emergency? Me too… was originally published in PermacultureWomen on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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Ecofeminism and Permaculture

Ecofeminism is commonly seen as women planting trees: just as permaculture is commonly seen as gardening. Those are the first steps.

Permaculture is a design system, based on Nature’s ecosystems. Social and spiritual permaculture design for human communities. Eg, Transition Towns.

Ecofeminism finds similar patterns, for a life different from patriarchy.

Short video: Dido Dunlop introducing this

Women and the Earth

Ecofeminism adds that patriarchy devalues women, and therefore devalues nature, because nature is seen as mother. Women and nature get trashed together. Anything patriarchy associates with women is also trashed: caring, compassion, mothering, emotions, looking after nature, valuing life over money.

To survive the climate emergency, we need to know we’re part of Mother Nature. To value nature, we must honour women too, and vice versa.

‘We are proud to be identified with nature!’

If we called it Father Nature, would we trash him? We expect Mother to look after us endlessly, without asking for care in return. She feeds us, takes away our nappies. Patriarchy throws trash on the ground; she’ll take it away!

Matriarchy is the rule of Mother Nature: the laws of nature, not the rule of women over men. Patriarchy is based on hypermasculine values. Hypermasculine is not how the world works. It’s not even healthy for men. Ecofeminism brings out women’s values that patriarchy rejects. We could all live together in a healthy harmonious way. Ecofeminism doesn’t diss men: only patriarchal behaviour.

My matriarchs in the picture express how it feels when the powers of nature flow through me.

Here’s an easy way to ‘get’ the issue: ‘Ecofeminism in a Nutshell’

Practical work to Support Women

Women are on the front line of climate emergency: they grow most of the food. The book ‘Drawdown’ says educating girls is super helpful for climate.

Working with the Feminine is Brave

Ecofeminism addresses the thorny issue of feminine values: the scariest place in our culture. Patriarchy does NOT want us to go there! It undermines the whole hierarchical structure.

This is the root of our problem. That’s where we need to go, to thoroughly and deeply transform culture.

Features of ecofeminist culture

We are part of Nature, not separate.

We look after nature. She’s our mother; we rely on her.

All creatures are precious


Men and women are equal, all genders included

We honour activities and values associated with women: compassion, caring, parenting, relating, connecting, pleasure.

We operate like an ecosystem. Interdependence is the central principle.

Cooperative negotiation; consensus

Gift economy: people are important, not money


Mother Nature is sacred

Indigenous matriarchy

Many indigenous matriarchies still live this way, or retain some of the patterns. Women are central, they are Mother Earth herself. Men treasure their women as Mother Earth, and protect and cooperate with women.

Can we learn from this, in a non-colonising way?

Taowhywee: Nuu-sru’ Agnes Baker-Pilgrim — Siletz — Mother Earth & Water

Modern Western Ecofeminism developed in the 70’s

Marija Gimbutas saw this pattern in her archaeological work in Old Europe. patriarchy is not more than 5,000 years old. her friends developed her vision into a model for a regenerative future.

Ecofeminist Spirituality

Mother Nature is sacred. It’s not about ‘religion’. Nature feeds our soul. In nature, or a permaculture garden, we feel deeply vitalized.

Buses, concrete, coal, are all made of the same four elements. Nothing on this planet is not part of nature. So everything is sacred: cooking, nappies, sex, washing dishes. There’s no separation of mundane and sacred, dark and light.

Many ecofeminists see that sacred presence as Goddess, immanent, innate in every detail of life. The patriarchal god looks down from above, separate from nature.


Starhawk covers physical, social and spiritual permaculture. She leads ecofeminist earth spirituality. She teaches how to run community groups. Her novels lay out a vision of ecofeminist community.

Starhawk ;

Women caring for nature

Vandana Shiva is a protector of Seeds, and fights GMO.

Vandana Shiva

Wangari Maathai and the Green Belt Movement

Wangari Maathai

Climate Justice

A big majority of climate activists are women, especially school strikers. Many are from the global south. These young ecofeminists are fighting for immediate issues: climate justice; protecting land and indigenous communities; rape of women, rape of nature; activist women being murdered; that women are at the frontline of climate change and it’s not fair. They don’t want climate negotiations about money, marketing and profit.

Can we create a regenerative way of life?

Indigenous people say, don’t colonise us, find your own culture. Gimbutas offers a foundation for this. Our creative adventure is to weave together contemporary ecofeminism, permaculture, learning from indigenous matriarchy, (without colonising!) into something that works for our modern world.

If you have an indigenous background

Do you see features of matriarchal/ecofeminist culture in your culture? Please consider sharing that wisdom with us. How does it work for you?

Train yourself to see the world a different way


list qualities of patriarchy you’d like to leave behind.

list values you’d like as part of healthy regenerative life.

list Mother Nature’s ways of operating. compare this with the other lists.

What would nature-based culture look like?

Relax, let your imagination fly free and bold. How could our world look?

Think ecosystems, interdependence. How do plants relate to each other in permaculture? Imagine people are plants. Imagine Mother Nature and women honoured as central. How could that work: in relationships, in social structures?

Once you’ve imagined new possibilities, you can put them into action.

What would your local community could look like?

How would we relate to each other if we felt like a community?

What could women and men be like?

Patriarchy’s idea of how men and women should behave is not healthy.

Patriarchy is the rule of hypermasculine values. Not all men.

What qualities do you associate with women and men in patriarchy?

You may find they are extremely feminine or extremely manly.

How about cooperative nature-based values?

Perhaps not hypermasculine or hyperfeminine? more in the middle?

Find these in yourself. Spot them in others. Imagine them. Other genders?

Could we all be more alive, less shut down, develop more of our potential?

International relations

Think big. Rights of nature? Ecocide laws? Women? Peace?

Inner Transformation:

Become an ecofeminist heroine

To transform culture, we need to transform inner habits, values, assumptions. Grow your ecofeminist permaculture garden within!

Notice habits that are on your leave-behind list. Can you leave them behind?

Choose from your healthy lists things to practise doing more of.

The idea alone won’t transform us. We need to feel:

What is it like to feel interdependent? We’re so used to being proudly independent.

The way I do it is, I imagine how interdependence could play out in my life. Then I see if can do what I imagine. Bea woman like that. Feel what it feels like. I experiment, try it this way, then that way.

Short video by me, demonstrating this practice

Feel your deep connection with nature

Feel your bones are made of minerals like rocks, your blood salty like ocean water, your mind like breezes, fire in your heart. Nature created you as she did the kangaroo.

Life-affirming attitude

See all your activities as ‘sacred’.

Your leadership style

All over the world people are voting for strongman leaders, who won’t help the climate emergency. Our New Zealand prime minister Jacinda Ardern gets criticized for cooperating, consulting, seeking info from others. They say she’s not a real leader. She’s leading in an ecofeminist style.

In what ways do you lead cooperatively? Empower others to lead? Consult with others?

Paint or draw

What could ecofeminist heroines and heroes feel like?

What could our world look like?


Women working with nature and each other

Vandana shiva Soil not Oil; Staying Alive; Making Peace with the Earth, and other books.

Wangaari Maathai autobiography: Unbowed.

Books on indigenous cultures

Helena Norberg Hodge Ancient Futures: Ladakh

Peggy Reeves Sanday Woman at the Center

Goettner-Abendroth Matriarchal Societies

ed Goettner-Abendroth Societies of Peace: includes indigenous women writers

(These two are academic but fascinating.)

Colin Turnbull The Forest People

Modern ecofeminism

Riane Eisler: Nurturing our humanity

The Power of Partnership and other books: partnership in relationships, economics, education, pleasure.

The Chalice and the Blade: her original book on partnership and dominator models

Studebaker: Switching to Goddess: witty


Starhawk The Fifth Sacred Thing; City of Refuge

Marge Piercy Woman at the Edge of Time

Rachel O’Leary The Swan-Bone Flute

Ursula LeGuin The Dispossessed, and other books.

Spiritual Permaculture / Ecofeminism

Carol Christ She who Changes: beautiful look at Mother Nature

Starhawk Earth Path.

Dido Dunlop Storm Weathering: a Workbook for our Inner and Outer Climate: meditations to restore connection with nature.

Grief and Empowerment

Joanna Macy: Active Hope; Coming Back to Life: transform environmental grief, anger and other emotions. Great Turning.

Relevant Links and Resources

Here are some meditations I led to help with visioning

‘ “Market Solutions” Won’t Bring Climate Justice. Eco-Feminism Is an Alternative.’

Why the world needs an African ecofeminist future

Panels at the COP25. Women’s Earth and Climate Caucus: Women for Climate Justice on the Frontlines of Systemic Change

Indigenous matriarchs stand together in dark times

These interview women doing interesting projects:


Mothers of invention

Eco-Grief and Ecofeminism | Heidi Hutner | TEDxSBU

I, Dido, have lived 40 years with severe chronic fatigue from pesticide poisoning. Poisoning the earth is a big ecofeminist issue.

Feminist Leadership in Building Global Community

Ecofeminism and Permaculture was originally published in PermacultureWomen on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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Monday, February 24, 2020

The Top Mistakes that People Make After a Permaculture Design Course

Often, after an in-depth permaculture learning experience, folks emerge with the desire to change their living or working situations so…

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How can our livelihoods be REGENERATIVE?

Recently, I’ve been breaking down the term “regenerative right livelihood” to clarify the concepts so we can discuss and evolve them, and…

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Right Livelihood: a pattern for shifting towards life-honoring work

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Thursday, February 13, 2020

Were not good enough at feeling good enough

We’re just not good enough at feeling good enough

So, here we are having understood that expecting other people to make us happy doesn’t work. That we are the ones responsible for our own happiness. And what do we do? We beat ourselves up for not making ourselves happy. Raise your hand if that’s what you do.

I dare say that the vast majority of us in modern society were raised “conditionally”. The German word for raising children is “Erziehung” with the root word being “ziehen”, which means pull. That should give you an idea of the concept. We’re pulling at our children so that they grow in the direction we deem appropriate, most likely to succeed and make us and supposedly them happy.

If you have ever tried to pull at a plant to make it grow, you probably learned your lesson. The plant loses its roots. Well, so do our children. So did we. Different from the plant that dies quickly when it’s pulled out of the earth, we humans have an amazing resilience. And yet, we’re uprooted. We don’t know who we are. We don’t know our roots. We were raised to fulfill expectations to bend and twist until we meet our caregivers’ idea of a lovable person.

And now, twenty, thirty or fifty years later, we dive into personal development and learn that we better believe we’re good enough. Magic wand, anyone?

We are habitual animals. And our habit has been to establish an ideal for whatever we do or want in life. From there we compare our current state with what it should be. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with that.

When I want to visit my friend on the other side of town, I better know where I am right now. First of all, “the other side of town” has no meaning unless I know what that side of town it is other than (haha, did that sentence structure make you cringe? Meditate on it).

Then, of course, I will never find my way there unless I know where I am at all times. The problem, as usual, begins when I resent where I am. When I judge my current location as “bad” just because it is not the other side of town yet.

It sounds funny, doesn’t it, when you read it like that. Surely, nobody would feel resentment in such a scenario? Think again. How many of us get frustrated in traffic jam? Or because the train is late. The flight is delayed. The four blocks turn out to be six blocks. The shortcut doesn’t work, because they’ve closed the road for a rallye. When we get worked up and frustrated over this, we resent being where we are.

Every time we beat ourselves up for not speaking Arabic fluently, not having completed our homework on time, not meditating deep enough, not reacting all Zen to our spouse’s tantrum, we resent where we are.

If I want to visit my friend on the other side of town, I take the train. The train takes me from my place to the city center, passing the river, then out east and even further into her neighborhood. I cannot reach her place unless I pass all those stations. It isn’t possible (at least until Scottie learns how to beam me up). I MUST be in the city center at some point so that I can reach my friend’s house. I must pass the river. I must be wherever I am on the way.

And so I must be where I am now. There is no other option. I must speak silly Arabic before I can speak it better. I must have my homework halfway done before I can finish it. I must allow my thoughts to chitchat into my meditatation so that I can learn to observe it without engagement. I must experience my own emotional reaction to my husband’s outburst so that I can see where I need to heal.

And I must accept whatever I feel before it can feel good enough. As long as we think that good enough is better than, we keep missing the boat. How about we just feel for now? Whatever it may be.

We’re not good enough at feeling good enough was originally published in PermacultureWomen on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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